what do sober people do with their lives?
partybarackisinthehousetonight: pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood
rnilkbreath: failedtextpost: rnilkbreath: analprolapsing: how in holy fuck do you not like hawaiian pizza i’m seriously gonna call the police LISTEN UP DICK NERD. THINGS U PUT ON PIZZA INCLUDE: TOMATO, CHEESE, MEAT, SOME VEGGIES (NOT LIKE CARROTS BUT LIKE ONIONS) AND THATS IT. DONT FUCKIN PUT FRUIT ON PIZZA. FUCKIN brooke tomatoes are fruits FUCK YOU pineapple is SO GOOD on pizza
Part of what psychedelics do is they decondition you from cultural values. This...– Terence McKenna
i don’t even remember like 85% of 2012
Everyone is missing the biggest problem here. Fuck the ads. Fuck the links. Fuck the email stuff. Yahoo explicitly forbids pornography and sexually suggestive material on their websites and all affiliates. That means no more porn on Tumblr. this is stupid as hell I know 6,000+ lezbedirty followers that are gonna be pissed when I can’t post anymore
maxterbate: maxterbate: Why dont you guys want Yahoo to buy Tumblr? Free chocolate milk for everyone i have just been informed on this
Anonymous asked: I know that you've been busy with graduating and stuff (congrats, by the way!) but will you be updating your dirty blog anytime soon? I miss your posts. <3
I really feel like writing which means I’m probably not depressed anymore which is awesome and I am starting to feel good and it’s nice
notmysecret: asexyhumor: gonnaslapabitch: but seriously why can’t platonic kissing be a thing like if i could tell me friend “hey i’m upset” and they gave me a smooch and played with my hair while watching a movie that’d just be the best it’d definietly cheer me up like woah thank u why does it need to have a romantic connotation why does it have to make things weird it’s just friends...
lornemilee: HA so these guys in the library were joking around and one is like “So when’s our date?” and they started discussing when and where and what. Then they hugged really hard and slowly pulled apart and just kind of stopped a second and the other was like “… you really gonna take me on a date?” and the first guy is like, “Uh… yeah, man I’ll take you on a date.” AND THE SECOND GUY SEEMED...
Reasons To Be Happy: Dead trees still stand and so can you. You have five fingers on each hand. One day those fingers will travel from your lap to someone else’s and that person will know all the bad stuff and still want to kiss you. Seasons are guaranteed when nothing else seems to be.
ahemily: ahemily: guys im online shopping for dog collars and i just found a website where you can have stuff printed on the collars and theres one here that says ‘slut’ thats hillarious :’) edit: this one says ‘bitch’ omfgggg HOLY SHIT THOSE COLLARS ARNT FOR DOGS THERE FOR PEOPLE THIS IS A FETISH AND BONDAGE WEBSITE OH GOD hahahahaha
blein: sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS...
Person: What state do you live in?
caffeinatedfeminist: If you’re against feminism as a movement because of it’s tendencies to exclude trans* women and WOC, that’s totally legitimate. But if you’re against it because you think it’s wrong to focus on women’s equality because it “ignores the men” then you let me come live in your universe where men are in need of having their rights protected because I’d like to see that shit.
the-perks-of-being-a-killjoy: When I was a young boy my father took me into the city to see a marching band he said ‘son don’t get too attached to this band because bands break up and you will cry’
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: wearejohnlocked: maakara: ?????????????????????????????? ????????????????? why the fuck would you email a tumblr post to someone hey grandma you gotta read this johnlock smut fic yeah wtf
Anonymous asked: was the last person you were with before alyssa a guy or woman
burgrs: i thought i left my ipod in the theater so we went back to look for it and i couldn’t see so i turned on my ipod to give me some light so i could find my ipod do u see where this is going because i did not
thepioden: hair-old-styles: harrystyies: What if oxygen is poisonous and it just takes 75-100 years to kill us? My science teacher said he thinks that’s true actually Yeah this is actually pretty much exactly what is going on. It’s why anti-oxidants are such a big deal. Bonus fact: oxygen oxidizes stuff in your cells or, in other words, it’s not toxic, just setting you on fire very very...